Humanoid Theory
by xX-Citrus-Xx
Summary: Axel always thought he was a good guy, I mean, he donated to charities and went to church every once in a while. He was good to go right? Wrong. The big guy upstairs seemed to have a different idea. AkuRoku, Riku/sora and more Scifi/futuristic on hiatus
1. Prologue

**Title:** Humanoid Theory  
**Summary:** Axel always thought he was a good guy, I mean, he donated to charities and went to church every once in a while. He's all good right? Wrong. The big guy upstairs seems to have a different opinion.  
**Pairings:** AkuRoku, Riku/Sora, and others in the future  
**Warnings:** Swearing, BL and possibly GL in the future, crappy grammar, crappy writing, and that's probably about it.  
**Author Notes: **This is unbeta'd though I'll get my sister on it in the future. She's asleep right now. This is a scifi, and yes, most the characters are some percentage of robot, or in this story's case 'Humanoid'. The next chapter will be out either in the next few hours or sometime tomorrow. This is short but the actual chapters will be longer. The prologue shouldn't make alot of sense to you, but most of it should clear up with the next chapter. I'll love you forever if you can give me a better summary, mine sucks and doesn't really have anything to do with anything but the 1st chapter not the prologue  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own, so don't sue.

**Prologue**

Where was he? Good question. Let's start with the basics. What do you see?

_Black--Darkness. It's so dark._

Ok, anything else?

_No--Wait! A light!_

Follow the light?

_Why not? ...It's not very warm though. Aren't light's warm? It's cold. So very cold._

_"Hey Kid."_

_What is that?_

"_Kid, Wake up."_

_There it was again._

_"Kid! You're scaring me!"_

_Warmth. Ther's Warmth._

_"Kid!"_

_Oh, A voice. That's right. _

_...Red, so much red._

**Download language: English-Class 4?**

_...Affirmative._

--

**A/N: **So tell me how you all liked it! Don't be afraid to drop a comment by, even if it's just a 'hey' or 'It's good' or something.  
I'd really appreciate it. I'd even love flamers, they'd provide me some entertainment.


	2. The Streets are not for Playing in

**Disclaimer:** I don't own. 'nough said.  
If you want the warnings and such, visit the former chapter. It's all there.  
**A/N:** Unbeta'd as well. Not much to say here, besides the fact that I wrote this in 2hrs from 12 to 2 so it may sound a little wacky. Oh, and I'm bad for run-ons. I'm working on trying to fix it though.

_'Thoughts'_

_Dreams or flashbacks, flashbacks will have the word 'flashback' in front of them_

"Speaking"

Words blah blah words _word-w/emphasis _words blah blah.

This is the same for the rest of the chapters, although not the prologue, that one's a little screwy.

**Chapter One  
****The Streets are Not for Playing**

Axel Dawn, engineer and mechanic, thought he had a fairly good life. He was nice to kids and women, and gave a dollar or two to the homeless beggars every once in a while. He figured he was a pretty good guy; he figured he was all set in life. God should've had him on the 'no bad things happen to them' list, but no, the big guy upstairs likes to see him squirm apparently.

There was a kid in the street. He was just lyin' there like...like a big dumb kid in the road, or at the very least, like his Great Aunt Sue after eating his Ma's cooking. So Axel wasn't a particularly poetic kind of guy, his metaphors were crap, but so what? It was 3:18am, it can't be legal to be able to form coherent sentences at this time.

"Shit."

There was a skeeter(1) flying right towards him, and the kid wasn't moving an inch.

Axel flew across the road in a flash of red, green, and gray before you could say the former sentence.

A short sigh of relief flew from Axel's slightly parted lips. He'd managed to grab the kid and drag him across the street to safety without getting either of them cut into tiny bits of skeeter road kill.

Axel would admit it, the kid was pretty cute. Chocolate brown hair shot out in varying directions and lengths from his head, and a natural tan stood out against--okay, the kid's dorky clothes ruined his 'cute' image he had goin' for him. Who the Hell where's bright red, poofy, Mickey Mouse pants and huge yellow shoes?

Axel placed the kid on the cool pavement next to the street.

"Hey Kid," he whispered. The kid had no reaction.

"Kid, Wake up!" Still no reaction.

"Kid! You're scaring me!"

Axel had grabbed the smaller boy's shoulder to try and shake him awake. At least there was some reaction with that move, the boy had moved closer into the touch.

"Kid!"

Well, that was short lived. No reaction again. Not surprising really. '_You're killing me kid! Well, time to meet Mr. Screwdriver.'_

Axel pulled out a small, skinny, stick like machine with a small glowing bulb on the end. '_Hello Mr. Screwdriver'_(2) He began to point it at various places on the boy's body. Axel's emerald eyes glazed over ad his lips began to move, mouthing the data being transfered from his screwdriver to his data banks. The mouthing of the info as he received it was a flaw really; anyone with mouth reading technology installed could figure out what he was transfering.

"Bingo." Axel smirked as the has in the his eyes disappeared, he'd found what he was looking for.

The boy next to him groaned and slowly opened his eyes. '_Blue, they're blue--like Roxas's'_

The blue-eyed boy slowly lifted his hand to his mouth and began to form shapes with his lips against the skin on his fingers, as if he was trying to remember how to speak.

"Redsh, ien flo redsh." he said.

_'What the Hell!?'_

Axel quickly connected with the main system, the mother load of all cores, in Hollow Bastion to do a language scan.

_'Unknown...Unkown...UN-FREAKING-KNOWN!'_

"Fuck! What the hell kind of language are you speakin' kid!?" Axel inquired, more to himself than to the younger boy to the left of him.

"Oof ein Oober stink?" the boy questioned.

Axel sighed and pulled out his screwdriver once more. He pointed it at the boy's right arm, directly aver the pulse point on his wrist. A touch projector shot a code board out from the kid's wrist. Axel tucked his screwdriver into it's hiding spot in the inner pocket of his leather jacket once more; there was no way in hell he'd let the little pen like thing get stolen, it was illegal _and expensive._

Long, nimble fingers punched out a code on the afore mentioned code board and hit enter. The code board disappeared in a flash of pale blue.

A high pitched whirring sound rang in Axel's ears as the boy's gears spun into motion. The data he was receiving could be read in the kid's big blue eyes. Axel smirked, it seemed as though this kid had a data transferring flaw as well.

The kid's eyes closed and the whirring stopped suddenly. Axel counted to 30. If the kid didn't automatically reboot in that time, he'd have to use his handy screwdriver and do it the hard way.

The kid's eyes reopened right on schedule. Axel mentally sighed in relief, the hard way took _FOREVER._

"Where am I?" the boy asked, pure confusion written on his face. He sounded like a prepubescent teen--his voice had even cracked a little.

Axel smirked and held out a hand for the boy to grab. He did, so Axel pulled him up off the ground.

"Hollow Bastion. January 18, 2135."

--Line break--

A young boy, about 16, opened his big, cerulean eyes only to have his eye lids drop to half mast as he stared lazily at the patterns on the unfamiliar ceiling above him. _'Alright, let's start with the basics. What do you see? An unfamiliar ceiling. What else?"_ Blue eyes removed their line of vision from the ceiling and directed it around the small room, observing. '_3 computers, band and movie posters, 2 book shelves, and a single window naked save for the bright green curtains adorning it. A bedroom it seemed. Ok, next question. Where am I? The red head's home I think. Alrighty, Why? i woke up on the streets of Hollow Bastion, Sector 5, by the red head. He took me to his house. Then I-"_

A terrible noise interrupted the boy from his musings. It sounded like a class 2 duck(3) was being repeatedly stabbed with the blunt end of a rusty spoon. The boy figured that meant it was time to get up.

The brunette ditched the black and red sheets(4) and pulled himself out of the bed. he was still wearing everything he was the night before, or rather this morning, except for his huge yellow shoes. The red head must have taken them off for him.

He sighed softly before he walked out the open bedroom door and followed the strange sound to hopefully locate and stop it. He did not want to have to install new ears.

The noise was coming from the loud, lanky red head in the kitchen, he soon learned. The boy immediately recognized this as the man who had picked him up off the street, and apparently he was..._singing_.

After noticing the other's presence, Axel turned around with a frying pan at hand.

:good morning kid. How do you like your eggs?" he asked.

"I'm not 'kid' and sunny side up please."

"Mkay. What's your name then?"

Axel had turned his attention back to the stove top as his right hand blindly fumbled around the counter for the carton of eggs.

"...What's a name?"

Axel was not fazed in the least by this question, or if he was, he didn't show it.

"Search your cata banks for your model name and number." he said, not missing a beat.

"What do you mean? Why would I have 'data banks'?"

"kid, I hate to be the one to break this to you, but you're 94 humanoid. If you aren't human enough to remember your name, we'll have to go by your model name."

The kid seemed a little put out about tis fact and Axel truly felt sorry for the kid.

"That's not it though! I can't remember anything before I saw you and you brought me here! Only little things like what my favorite foods are and how to walk and stuff!"

"Sorry Kid, I can't do anything about that. I can take a look at you later if you want though."

The kid sighed and stuck his lip out in a cute pout as he leaned back in the dining room chair and tried to locate his data banks.

Axel was in the process of transferring the eggs onto the kid's plate without bursting the yoke when the kid spoke up again.

"Sora-x model X2143Y27LK"

Axel's lips twitched up into a smirk. "Well hello there Sora, I'm Axel Dawn--Got it memorized?"

--End chapter one--

(1) Car of the future, Axel will explain it to Sora later on in the story

(2) I pretty much just imagined Dr. Who's screwdriver. If you don't know the show Dr. Who, check it out, it's amazing.

(3) Don't ask me what I mean by 'class 2 duck'. I think I'm trying to say that the animals have different subdivisions I guess. Does that make sense?

(4) Wow, Axel's fashion sense sucks. Bright green curtains with black and red sheets? Ew.

Anyway! Reviews are loved and make me happy. I'll try to get another chapter out within the next week.


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